The Younger Woman

Oliver and I went to a housewarming party in Everett, where he scored a younger woman.
Allow me to clarify. Oliver was playing the room like he does; life of the party. He had already won over the host with his tacky gift- a Hippie Nutcracker. In the time it took him to make his way from the front door of the house to the back door- he had greeted six friends and created four more. Nothing out of the ordinary there. That's how he rolls. The surprise was what happened next. One gentleman who escaped both categories of "established friend" and "brand new friend" -floundering somewhere in the middle- said to Oliver, "I have a '98 Eclipse in my driveway. My wife hates it. Come and get it."
And there it was. *pause for dramatic effect* The decision to dive into the world of DSM's (we had dabbled before- dipped our toes in and found the water to be warm but expensive). Instantly, Oliver had a new best friend and a new project. Lucy and I had a new lady to compete with.
The next day, we found ourselves in Marysville under a massive Evergreen preforming emergency surgery on a tired neglected Eclipse. With the amount of moss and slime on the car it was difficult at first glance to identify its paint color. Upon further investigation we confirmed it was not green, but black-ish.

"I'll be shocked if you can get it started." said Ollie's new friend, Steve.
"Challenge accepted." stated Ollie.
It goes without saying that Oliver resuscitated the car. With no brakes, no clutch, no gas, and no registration, he slowly backed the young lady out from under the tree that had been her home for a number of years. He barked at me to jump in The Starship (our family's Ford Explorer- hey we are practical where we need to be) and follow close.
I followed him to the nearest gas station where he put a few bucks in the tank. 
"Did you just bring this thing back from the dead?" asked some sketchy Marysville transient. 
"Actually, yeah, I did," replied Oliver.
"Should've left it," called the man as he crossed the street.
The look on Oliver's face clearly said, "No appreciation." 
I added, "No imagination."
Fueled up, we were ready for our journey. We mapped out a route that was longer in distance than our usual course- avoiding highway speed and most importantly, cops. Completely comprised of county back roads, this was a gamble with no brakes, a severely slipping clutch and a donut spare. If the car was not up for the task, we wouldn't have a shoulder to rest on, and the cops we tangle with would be county cowboys. But ultimately the fact that cops in the county are sparse (comparatively speaking) and the speed of travel would be a gentle 35-45 mph sealed the deal.
Forty minutes later, we pulled into GTA, dragging swamp scum through the parking lot. Huggies (our intern) greeted us, sobbing, begging us to not make him wash our new addition. 
No sooner did Huggies have Swamp Thing shining like a de-lamming diamond, Ollie had a gleaming new ACT clutch in his hand. 
WHAAAT!? (I inserted a sideways look at Lucy) "Serious!?" I asked her.
If I was my four year old, I would have shouted "NO FAIR!" But since, I'm a grown adult I just thought it and stomped my foot.
"Can you believe it was only $400 bucks?" He blurted.
I choked.
"Baaar-gain!" He sang.
This is how it always starts. The younger woman gets the attention, then the expensive gifts... 
Well, boys, Lucy and I are toting "age before beauty" and we are done messing around.